Adulting- The Unexpected, The Unforgettable, and The Ugly

As a child, I earnestly looked forward to being an adult. I vividly remember staring into space, painting a picture in my mind's eye wondering, " Where would I move to for my first place?" "How would I decorate it?" " Where would I travel to?" Oh, what a great life I had planned - buying whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, traveling the world, and generally being THAT GWORL! Yup, good ole imagination. I despised being teased by my uncles, and being called "a little girl". I would respond with a quick comeback, "NO! I am a big girl", my back straight and my head tall as I uttered those words. Sure, I was warned that "adulting" isn't all that but did I listen? Of course not!😏

Well, here comes the big SIKE! Adulting has definitely humbled me. I would love to be that little girl again, even for a week - other people caring about and worrying about my own well-being. What a privileged life! Alas, as the saying goes "forward ever, backward never". Allow me to share with you my unexpected, unforgettable, ugly experiences so far in my "adulting" life.

The Unexpected

Bills! Bills! and some mo' Bills! Rent, car insurance, phone, medical bills (because sometimes insurance doesn't cover it), gas, electric, internet- Lord save me! Of course, I knew about bills and even had to pay some once in a while when I lived with my parents. However, I wasn't prepared for the reality of having to consistently pay those bills or live with the consequences. This was definitely my strongest initiation into adulthood- having to take responsibility for my own welfare. For the first time in my life, I had to reconsider my relationship with money. My childhood dreams of doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted died a slow death. Reality set in and she throws a sucker punch. Another disturbing reality was being little Ms. Independent wasn't so cute if I had to do all the heavy lifting myself. I had that epiphany as I hauled a three-drawer IKEA dress up three flights of stairs in the freezing cold. 

The Unforgettable

I wish...I wish... I could forget. When I think back on the utterly embarrassing things that happened to me (or that I happened into), I honestly wish I could selectively wipe some memories. To save face and to avoid extending the embarrassment further on these internet streets, I will keep it short. I went to the store to get a few things, then got in the car to start heading home. My hands were kinda full though so I had to leave the driver's side door open. Distracted, I put the items on my passenger seat, buckled in,  "closed" the door and then turned out of the parking lot to turn into the street. From the corner of my eye, I could see a car coming down my lane but I figured I still had time to make it onto the road so I made the turn. Upon turning, the driver's side door FLEW OPEN. I had no time to react. I quickly took a hard right turn from the road onto the sidewalk. When the haze had cleared from my eyes, I looked up to see three teenage girls looking at me with equal parts shock and amusement. Customers heading into the store I had just come out of stared incredulously. Everything probably happened in about a minute but I was so embarrassed.  I wished more than anything to just melt into my seat. Talk about unforgettable!

The Ugly

Let me tell you about a car named "Kokumo". Kokumo literally translates to it won't die again. As a Yoruba girl, names are extremely culturally significant(see previous blog about names here). Sometimes, names are given almost prophetically or to foretell the future. For example, if a family's matriarch dies, a child born afterward could be named "Yejide" which translates to the mother has awakened as a memorial or comfort to the family. I went through such pains with that 2004 Honda Civic that I had to name her to console myself. Every time the car had an episode, I would begin to plead, "Kokumo, please don't embarrass me". The crazy part is that the car issues baffled everyone because the car has less than 150,000 miles on it and should still have had a strong engine. Wrong! From smoke billowing up from the engine on the highway to the car doing a running-man move at every traffic stop to me freezing my behind off driving in the winter because there was no heat - I went through it all with that car. The wildest of all the experiences is the car shutting off at a traffic stop and me barely making it to the side of the road to park. I called AAA (a lifesaver in those dark times) and proceeded to wait three hours for help. I hadn't eaten anything that day, it was sweltering hot, I had no food or water in my car and there was nowhere close by to get food. I was utterly miserable. Like all hard things in life, it built character and common sense. I learned the hard way to not blindly trust every auto mechanic, to always have emergency food in the car, and that walking never hurt anybody. R.I.P Kokumo.

Final Thoughts

Of course, this is just a snippet of some of my experiences. I won't even get into that time the pipe burst in my bathroom or that time I had to fix my car's brake lights in the pouring rain or that time my bed frame broke and I practically had to roll off the mattress onto the floor to get up in the morning...you get the idea. Crazy thing though -  I won't trade these experiences for anything. Somehow, that little girl still got her wish because at the heart of it, she really just wanted to do life on her own terms. Now, back straight and head tall, I can now say "No, I am a BIG girl for real"😎.

P.S. - I would love to hear about your unexpected, unforgettable, or ugly experiences in the ghetto world of adulting. Drop a comment below!